A swing!

Hollis received a swing from the human services organization Fidelity House, to help with some of her sensory needs and to be used as a calming tool. She loves it! Fidelity House is an organization that helps developmentally disabled people better participate in their families and the community by providing consultation, education, and other support. This swing is just one of the many items they can provide: we've been to a behavioral crisis intervention training class, they have had an entire movie theater showing "Up" made available for DD folks and their families (movie theaters are not an easy thing for a kid like Hollis to act appropriate in), and they have other events and classes throughout the year.

We got the swing partially as a result of a sensory integration evaluation that the Department of Mental Retardation conducted a few months ago. Many kids with developmental delays and autism spectrum disorders have behavioral issues that can be related to how they process sensory information. Hollis has always had some sensory integration issues, in which she presents as sensitive to light touch, but prefers stronger "input", and she can be overwhelmed by busy environments with a lot of visual and auditory stimuli. If she gets too much of this stimulation, she can go off on a behavioral bender, sometimes becoming very aggressive, or withdrawn, or conversely, supercharged! Sometimes she seeks out a lot of stimuli, hurling herself against a couch, repetitively, banging her head, or sticking her fingers in her eyes. After the sensory integration assessment, the swing was recommended as one therapeutic method to give her appropriate sensory feedback, and to soothe her before she gets to the point of a behavioral breakdown.

A question of perception

Something happened the other day while we had Hollis at the park, and I've known it's been coming for many years. We were walking up the ramp to go to the slide and a little girl, about 6 years old said to her playmate, "Run away from the scary boy!" Hollis didn't understand this, which was fortunate, but I did, and, of course, it hurt me to hear it. There was a second when I told myself to ignore it, because kids this age don't really understand what her issues are, just that she's very different, and having one side of her head shaved with a big scar certainly isn't normal either. I decided I couldn't let it go, and approached the kids gently as possible, explaining that she isn't a boy, despite the short haircut, that she has more challenges in getting around than they do, that she can't talk like they do, and that she definitely isn't scary. The kids had lots of questions after this, so I answered them in the best way I could, trying help them understand why she is the way she is, and that she's OK that way.

We've often had questions from kids, and many puzzled looks, and some who even hide, but this was the first time I've overheard a mean comment. As I said, we've been expecting this as long as we've known about her disabilities, and I promised myself that I wouldn't come down hard on those who say hurtful things. I realize that from a child's perspective, Hollis can be frightening, because she is so big, but essentially has the abilities of a toddler. This is terribly confusing! I have found that most kids are very curious once you explain a little bit about what's going on. Instead of chastising kids for making a such a comment, I'm hoping that by helping them understand one child's disabilities we will encourage them to be more tolerant and eager to learn about others'.